In a very short amount of time, time will come to a standstill as I watch my wife-to-be walk down the aisle in an all-white dress that took months to secure. We will be in front of family and friends, taking vows, and I might even shed a tear or two. There are approximately 2.3 million weddings happening a year which breaks down to about 6,300 weddings a day, and I’m having my very own with someone I love and admire. We’ve planned, saved, and coordinated this entire event together while still managing to work and attend school full-time. All of the work and planning will all come to fruition for 8-10 hours on this day. They say the journey is always the most fruitful and where the most knowledge is gained and as I reflect on this process thus far, I’ve made a few observations that I have to get off my chest (in no real order):
The sense of entitlement: One of the most aggravating things about planning a wedding is the amount of people who feel that they deserve to be in attendance. I can’t tell you how many people automatically assumed that they were getting an invitation to our wedding and when I had to break their little hearts, I know that I’m probably never going to talk to them again. People that we haven’t spoken to or connected with in more than 15 years actually think they have a seat at the table?
Weddings are expensive: One thing I’ve noticed about planning a wedding is the fact that if you add the word, “wedding”, to anything, the price is easily doubled without question. As we reviewed vendors for a 4 hour photobooth, some of the people we looked at normally charged $250, but that drastically changed once we said we were looking at securing it for a wedding. The price went to about $500 for less than the 4 hour time that we wanted. Luckily, we found a good deal that included everything that we need and wanted. I won’t lie though, I need to get into the wedding business someway somehow. This is a $54B industry and I just want a slice of the pie!
Family isn’t limited to bloodlines: When I look into the crowd of people in attendance to support my vows and the conjoining of two people, I won’t have a lot of actual family members (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) and I’m at peace with this. It’s not because I hate anyone or have bad blood with them, it’s one of two things: 1) some people can’t make it for their own reasons and 2) others I just decided not to deal with. I don’t want any foolishness on this special day. There’s been a few moments where I was really down on myself about this, thinking I caused the disconnect with my family until I realized that I define “family”. My groomsmen and people in the crowd are folks that I consider my family. These are people that have done so much for me in a short amount of time and showed love that I wholeheartedly appreciate.
Writing vows is hard AF: Look, there aren’t too many times in one’s life where you’ll speak to a crowd of people and have to be vulnerable in sharing your love for someone you’re looking to spend the rest of your life with. Hell, it’s nerve wracking thinking about all of the right words that you want to say to that special person as you look them in the eyes in front of so many people. I don’t want to do something tacky or so structured because I don’t think that’s heartfelt. I recall being so nervous when I proposed and had a whole “speech” planned for the moment, yet I didn’t say not one part of it. And of course, I want to do it without a sheet of paper which makes it even more challenging, but I still have time. I’m going to have some heat though!
Us vs Them: One theme that continues to make this journey worth it is the fact that it feels like its me and mine versus the world. When people (family or friends) try to get over or have an opinion, we usually back one another up. It’s even more pronounced now in the wedding planning phase. I recall someone talking about our food selection and I immediately said the kneegrow does not have to be in attendance. Sit ya ass down and be humble (word to K.Dot). I’m quick to support the Mrs. when something or someone has negative comments. We are not with the funny stuff. Save that for the fair.
Honestly, despite the foolishness that this journey brings about, I’m looking forward to the big day. I cannot wait to share this moment with the people that I love, with the woman I love. There’s going to be a lot of dancing, drinking, and getting lit. I’m thankful to the Most High to even have this opportunity in my life because I know a lot of people never will have the chance to do the same. During a time where Ol’ boy in the White House causing havoc, its refreshing to have these moments of happiness. #MoreLife!